2015.... Is Just A Number. Interview Story and Podcast Update

Hey, everyone! Welcome to another episode of the Rambling Monkeys Podcast...

Wait, wrong intro. Let's start back.

Hey readers, how are you? How's 2015 treating you already? It's been, what, 8 days? I had an OK New Year. Guess what? I slept so early on New Year's Eve I woke up at 3am and I couldn't sleep after that. I missed all the pretty explosions and pretty fires and stuff. My 8 days in 2015 were fine, thanks for asking (Please pretend that you did ask me, or that sentence would be awkward as fuck).

So, some things happened during the last month of 2014, which was December 2014, because December is the last month, if you didn't get it. I told you freaks I took the Administrative and Diplomatic Officer entrance exam, right? Guess what? I PASSED THE FREAKING EXAM. I was ecstatic, I couldn't contain my excitement I bought a PS4 to congratulate myself as a present to myself for passing the exam I've failed for 3 times. Well, I'd buy the PS4 anyway even if I failed the exam (Psstt... my PSN id is zrizal89. Add me *wink, wink*)

The interview slot was on the 20th December 2014, a Saturday. Lucky me. I typed back my resume, photocopied all the essential papers, certs and ICs. I read almost everything about Government programs, current issues and all that was happening in Malaysia in the newspaper. My brain was begging to me to stop memorizing all this stuff that I would eventually forget the moment I step out of the interview room.

Longer story cut to long (I took away the "er". Clever, innit?), I was looking at my best, and the first thing all the interviewers had to do were write essays in Bahasa Malaysia and English.  4 questions, answer 2. Two essays that were pretty easy but they only gave us like, 30 minutes to write and that was too short to elaborate on the topic.

Next, we had a BMI test. Shut up and don't ask me. Moving along, we registered ourselves for the interview, I got the M room (Not "M for Mature", but the letter "M", because that's how they name the rooms. Don't ask me why.), and I had to fill in some forms, arrange the documents in order so it'll be easy for the interviewer to check if I'd miss anything. My number was 7, my group had like 13 people so it wasn't that long to wait.

I was talking to the other interviewers, they were chill, except for the ladies cuz they were hot! Well, I wish they were hot but they were nervous, Afraid what kind of questions that will be asked in the room.

Long story to kinda-not-that short (medium), it was my turn.

You know the stuff I read, where I've been busting my balls and brain to memorize all the information like a sponge (Like I jammed a whole book of Malaysian Encyclopedia in my head is what it really feels like)? Well, mostly they asked this simple question, "WHY DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENT TO PTD?"

I was anticipating this question, but not so early. I can't tell you my answers because I really forgot the specifics of my answer, and that went on for almost 15 minutes, half of 30 minutes (simple math here, readers) trying to provoke me into not being a PTD and staying in DOE. There were many provocations, twist and turns and curve balls and such, I dodged like a fat man trying to dodge balls while playing dodge ball. I got hit, but I didn't fall, I answered coolly, and the whole interview, I spoke in English. I was so nervous in there, I was supposed to answer in Malay because the interviewer asked questions in Malay but I answered in English. That's how nervous I was.

But I felt comfortable because I can convey the answer, reasons and message better than fumbling in Malay and make myself look more like a nervous wreck. So, she changed the subject to personal questions: My hobby, my hopes and dreams in the future, asked if I liked singing (Cuz I showed them my Piano Examination Certs. Dunno how they connect playing piano and singing). I told them about my podcast and they were impressed by it, supporting my project (Woohoo!). The last question she asked me was, "Do you see yourself in the future, as the Director General of DOE or as a Secretary General in a ministry?". I answered, "If God wills it, I wanna be a Secretary General".

Then, that marks the end of the interview. She told me that it was a pleasure talking to me. I thanked here, took my certs, said goodbye and left the room. Yes, dear readers, they didn't ask me one bit about current issues or government programs and such. Yeah, she touched about my current work but it didn't go that deep. I answered calmly what I did and they seemed satisfied.

So, until now, I dunno if my chances to pass the interview is high or not. They could say all the nice words they want and reject me. I can only pray that they could see the potential in me.

That's a long ass story, eh? Maybe I should do a podcast. Oh wait... I do have a podcast!

So, if you don't know me from Adam, or somehow reading this and not know who the hell I am (offended-ness intensifies),,, I'm not that special. So, I created this podcast to have a conversation with my friends and talk about almost anything that can be recorded and published on the Net. My podcast's name is Rambling Monkeys Podcast. There's like, 6 episodes that has been published on PodOMatic, please listen to it ,(Click Here You Sexy Beast. Auuuummm!!) but I'm thinking of porting to SoundCloud cuz there, I can publish Unlimited amounts of Ramblings there!

If you're in Malaysia, or you magically transported to Malaysia and somehow are near to my place (Hint: Near Bangi Komuter Station), I'll pick you there and kidnap you to do an episode with me and you will leave with a grin on your face (Not that we're doing naughty stuff. We'll just talk. What were you thinking, pervs?). OR, you can contact me through Twitter (@LordRizal) and I'l reply faster than Speedy Gonzalez trying to buy a 50% off burrito. We can talk about anything you like, promote anything, maybe you're lonely and need someone to talk to, like games, music, movies, personal experiences... Just come to me. I need to talk too. I'm a boring person.

Yeah, it's been a while since I've updated this blog. So, that's it, hope you readers could bear this once in a blue movie moment that I have the time to type this. So long, farewell my lovely readers. Till next time, I bid you adieu. Yeah, goodbye and have a great day. Now, live your life. I have to take control of mine before it spins out of control like Marty McFly traveling to 2015.

Thanks for reading, and KEEP RAMBLING!

What My Heart and My Brain Want Are Different. Choose Wisely.

Well, dear readers. I'm at the crossroads of my life. I just got an e-mail to take an exam for the Administrative and Diplomatic Officer M41 this Saturday. I took that damn exam 3 times, 3 years in a row and failed all of them. Really. I got this job as an Environmental Control Officer last year around March and thought to myself "NEVER AGAIN". I was thinking this is my calling, working in the Department of Environment and that's it. No diversion, work, save money, have fun and get married.

However, there's an inkling in my heart, brain and soul that says that I should give it a try and do it. I might have a chance in acing this year's exam. Go to the interview, ace that one and if I pass, I will go for the 1-year Diploma and Master in Public Administration.

What makes me feel 50-50 about this is because I've invested my life and energy being in this Department. I feel comfortable, I've already made friends, know who's who and actually be someone here. However, I feel that there's a SILENT CALLING. I dunno, tells me to rethink about my life, about my career. About how I should spend my working life until 60 years old.

Maybe I need to sit down, calm down, chill, pray to God, see for myself if this move is the best or not. I know I'm thinking too advanced, you readers are thinking, "You haven't done the exam yet, Rizal. You failed 3 times before, what makes you think you're gonna excel this one?" Yeah, I'm a loser, I didn't pass the written exam. 3 times. Three. Tres. Troix. Tiga kali gagal. My friends aced it once and got to the interview but didn't pass the interview.

Y'know, life is full of surprises, if you wipe out the shit at the side. You can get a vague guess what will happen in the future. My parents, especially my dad has high hopes for me to become an Administrative and Diplomatic Officer. He was one, served almost 35 years before retiring. My sister and my brother-in-law are also Administrative and Diplomatic Officers. My sister was a Science Officer for 4 years before she changed jobs.

They way they employ this time is different, They really drill you for a year, to see if you're worthy or not to become one. When you excel, you will get the job. If you don't you gonna get kicked out, wasting a year of your life. That point is risky, cuz I haven't confirmed my post yet, meaning, letting go this job to go the course, meaning I will be unemployed and have to really work hard to get in. If not, I'll lose my old job. Dangerous, innit?

Yep, dunno how, but I hope I can retain my old job while going for the course, if I pass the course, then it'll be just changing jobs like my sister did years ago. I'm just like my sister in this situation. She didn't have high hopes to pass the exam, interview and all, but lo and behold, she became one. I feel like I'm going through that phase too. Not getting high hopes to become an ADO officer, but there's an inkling that I really want it, ever since I graduated from my Uni.

The inner struggle, the other half says, "You're already safe here in DOE, stay, you might be someone in here in the future" and the other half saying "You wanted to become an ADO when you were a kid. 3 failed attempts won't bring you down, Go for it, again!".

Maybe I'll just do it. I'll see where it brings me. This is just my inner rant. Jobs are hard to come by and I'm flirting with career death in changing jobs like this. Like watching a drunk person walking near a steep cliff, you never know if he'll walk away or fall to his death.

Well, TAKE THE EXAM FIRST RIZAL. IF YOU PASS, THEN WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS. IF YOU DON'T, THEN YOU'RE DUMB AND SHOULD HIT YOUR HEAD AGAINST A RANDOM GIRL'S CHEST.

Hope you readers aren't bored about what's in my mind. I just need to get it out of my head. We'll see, God knows what's best for me. I just pray and act on it. I'll be buying the PS4 on November. I am gonna buy inFamous Second Son, Shadow of Mordor, Far Cry 4, Assassin's Creed Unity and Dragon Age Inquistion. I can't be left behind when it comes to games! I need new games! Destiny's great when you play with friends, but going solo, it's repetitive just like my life. I need to get out of Malaysia and travel.

Well, so long readers, see you next time, maybe 2016, when I will get married or some interesting shit happens, I'll keep you readers up to date about my mundane life. Don't be boring like me, do some crazy stuff, you will remember it forever. Peace.

Something Philosophical About Life

You'd think that people nowadays are being "caring" to others, they just love making assumptions about the life you've gone through, how and why it happened but they never asked question to the person who has gone through it. We are quick to judge and never have the sense to go and maybe talk and maybe that person just needs someone to talk to.

We all are being so individualistic, some give excuses as to "try to find their true selves" which I find is bullshit. For example, you are 24 years old, and you suddenly said that exact phrase, to "discover who you are", then what/who the fuck were you before that? You were a Hollow for 23 years? Or maybe a soulless body vessel which somehow God just blew a soul in your body and you just "came to life" after 24 years? I just don't buy it. We all have a purpose, you just need to be diligent enough to find it. I have problems in this department where searching the purpose as to what you can contribute to this society that expects nothing but perfection from you because you're not screwed up loosely on the head.

I am in this position where I myself do not know what I stand for and the purpose as a human being living in this world where Angels and Demons are waging countless wars and I am caught in the middle. Most people tell me that I change so fast from being this outgoing guy into a shy recluse where crowded places make me sick and nauseous. I myself do not know why and people assume as if they can read what's in my mind. They do not want to see what's in it. I do not want to see it. I wish my imagination is dead so I won't replay those things I imagined since my pre-teen years.

I hate being in a crowd. It overwhelms my existence. My presence where I feel like a abandoned useless soul locked in this limiting body vessel. I want to announce my existence on this Earth, telling people "Hey, I exist, don't ignore me. I just need a friend to talk to and someone to watch my back if I ever stumble on an obstacle of Life". Those times you will meet some people like yourself, but they are still blind and haven't opened their eyes to see the real world we live in. They choose to be ignored, to just let this Earth fall down to shit and hoping it won't get dirty. Well, bad news, you won't solve anything if you don't do anything.

You also get those people who overdo it, shouting senseless profanities with a hoarse voice, pronouncing complicated words just so the simpletons think you are smart therefore think highly of you just because you read those words in a dictionary just 10 minutes ago and used it once. I find these people a disease. Sometimes, at least the term Ignorance is Bliss can be implemented in this case, but to a certain extent where ignorance will ultimately bring ruin, but for those who talk too much, taking major attention seeking to a whole new level which can annoy people so much they just wanna punch the lights out of you. This type of person I hate so much. They pick on those who are silent. They prey on the weak and make others believe the words they said. I find it repulsive that these people breaks through the loophole where the fools have more confidence but the wise people hold their silence.

For me, I just wanna seek acceptance, and do something worthwhile where I can tell other people what is going on in this world, what is the stance of our human level at this point, how far have we strayed from the righteous path that God has given us to live The Ideal Life. We are blind to see the purpose which we are born to do God's bidding. Whatever else that we do is optional. The sole physical purpose of living is to survive in this world. You see, that way of life is boring. So, as smart and creative we have become, we create distractions to pass time by so by the time we die, it will feel like a heart beat. To survive, you need shelter, food and water. Basic things to survive. After that, you need to work for the food, you hunt, maybe farm. To add more people so more people can do it to cut the time cost, is to procreate. You have children. The children will help you with work until it's time they take over and repeat the cycle. That's the basic in living. However, we create some distractions in life, maybe adding games, story telling, arts and craft, you learn to navigate the sea. From here, to give the short version of it, we expand.

Fast forward to today. Living basically now it almost impossible as we have institutionalize and commercialize living. We create jobs, but we choose people instead of randomly accepting. We evaluate people to progress in this world, by education, from Kindergarten, Primary School, Secondary School, College, University. There are too many people living, we weed out the dummies and preserve the best of the best. We make education important yet we discriminate the disadvantaged ones for whatever natural causes that made them incapable of achieving a higher understanding of learning. We create frustrated people, those who are stuck in a rut. Those we vilify because they are stupid for not progressing further in life, being a Somebody just so they have a paper telling them they did it. We brush them off, and here, we have either two people, those who try to find another way to improve themselves so they can go up to the level of those fortunate to be educated, and the vengeful people who would love nothing but to destroy and bring down the fortunate ones.

You see, that is just one of the subsets of unfairness in life where how we tackle the problem is what we fail to see. Those who are born not perfect, will breed jealousy to those who have perfect physique, tall, dark and handsome for Men, short, slender and curvy for Women. People who are born crippled, they will forever live as a handicap not only literally, but figuratively as well. No one want to hire a cripple, especially the mentally disabled ones. When I look at it, these circumstances is what make or break a person living in this world where now rules of the human and the idiocy of the overzealous leaders rule for what they say, but not what they do.

I can go on and on about this philosophical stuff, probably basic theology as well, but I think that those lost in translation, are actually not seeing the real picture. I can sum it up as this:

You are born to live in this world to please God by doing his bidding and leaving what God forbids. In the same time, you need to survive in this world. You need to eat, drink, have a safe place to live and procreate. So, you work. You work until you die and your children will take over. In the meantime, you do God's bidding, by praying, helping people, no crimes committed, rarely sin and when you die, ideally you will be awarded for your good soul to go to heaven. However, doing the opposite, will result will be the other way down.

OK, it's not practical because that is only in theory. Now, there are too many distractions that makes us hard to concentrate in living this ideal Life. As I said, Human Rules, the Disbelievers crop up because the unfortunate things happening to them that turns them into Godless souls and probably mistakes you've done that results in failure such as misinterpretation of what God tells you as you are taking it the wrong way without learning the words that was passed down to you as a guide in living on Earth, and yes, not educating yourself enough to learn the Wonders of the World.

It's complicated, but it's actually easy when you see it. I hope somebody will read and understand this. It is a long post, I know, but I need to get these thoughts out of my head. I find it interesting on what people think and how they end up later in Life. Try to find the basic grasp of Living and you might or might not see it first, but eventually, you will.

This is the End of the post. Yeah, see you next time. My head feels light. Will need a rest. Thanks if you've read this far. I understand if you don't understand, I'm typing this as these thoughts come out of my head, this is not scripted beforehand. It's called free-flow writing. Well, thanks and Peace Be Upon You.

So, When Are You Gonna Get Married, You Single-Loser? Forever Alone Rant and Creativity Stuff?! (Day 10)

Oy! 10th of April already??? I haven't studied anything for my Department's exam on June. Seriously, I dunno how to start this post, but that will suffice.

I wasn't planning on even going to this topic, cuz it annoys the FUCK out of me just to hear that FUCKING question. Look at the capitalized word FUCK and FUCKING. Well, that will be the only time I'll type it in this post. You know why, it's damn hard to answer the question over and over and over over and over and over over and over and over over and over and over over and over and over over and over and over again until you feel like shutting up and hide from everyone.

Seriously, it was my brother's wedding reception. He's the one getting married. Go congratulate him and leave me alone to do some work which are making sure you don't hurt yourself and also hoping that you are comfortable enough to eat without someone vomiting on your plate accidentally (yeah, still legit scenario that could happen if you ask me). When I go to these "old and conservative" mofos, those damn mouths just couldn't resist asking that question. I am sick and tired of it. No, readers, don't advise me what to answer. I just answered "Soon". That's it. I don't want to press any further than that and I just change the subject.

Seriously people, I am 25 years old this year. Are old people that insensitive to ask questions so casually without any regard of the person's emotion they are asking? It's not like I'm 35 or 45 years old. I have a long way ahead of me. I haven't enjoyed enough to even think of shackling myself to some broad. I just got a job and I haven't even confirmed the post yet. I am still building myself up, stabilizing and normalizing myself to face adulthood. You see, until I know how to do my taxes and even shave properly, I wouldn't even touch my manhood with some random chick's womanhood for the sake of marriage. I am not like one of those desperately seeking creeps that stalks women online, leaving ambiguous, double-meaning comments just to catch their attention. That's just disgusting, creepy and tacky.

Moving on, this April is a slow month. I was hoping something exciting to happen in my life. Y'know, doing stuff that can enhance the quality of life. Somehow, people are just douchebags. They like, give excuses after excuses not to have fun together and end up having fun with someone else. Screw you people that do this even though I don't know you. Yet. Seems like I will encounter these type of people in the future. I dunno. I hope I don't.

Few posts back I did mention on doing a podcast. Well, I AM seriously thinking of starting. I just need people and simple, basic equipments to start. I feel like if there ain't noting better to do in life, this will be my side project. I will do something productive in life. I will fully utilize my opinions and views on things I bottled up so long that even typing a blog post isn't enough. I need to say it just so I can use sarcasm the right way. Typing it, people will misunderstand, many of you are simpletons. I say, learn more or go home as an ignorant human refuse.

To end this post on the positive side, for myself at least, I feel rather free and clear-minded after being so foggy in the brain for so long. I think I can compose poems without that nagging voice telling me "It's shit and you shouldn't do it. EVER. AGAIN.". I was devastated and I almost quit my passion in poetry. Now, things are clearer that I can type this post, maybe think creatively to compose a poem and MAYBE type a short story. I mean REALLY SHORT STORY. My head feels a bit light from whatever that has been bothering me for so long. Now, I am feeling pumped with this new-found creativity confidence in expressing myself. Not many understand my art, only the person creating it knows the interpretation of his work and only he knows the reason behind every word, expression, and story written on paper (maybe on Microsoft Word. 2010.). Whatever it is, it's gone now. I'm fine by the way. How are you readers? I just asked this at the end of this post. Wow.

So, that's my random mix of rant and sort of good news. Hoping that some things will turn for the better. Can't wait to start this project of mine and can't wait to become creative after years of writer's block. Now, I iz happyz. Well, at this paragraph I'm happy. At the start, I was pissed as fu----dge. Now, I'll leave you for now for you to continue your mundane lives and become a puppet to someone else that controls your pay and your free time. I bid you adieu. May the Peace Be With You, for I am @LordRizal .

P.S Don't get me wrong, I wanna get married, but stop asking the question, dammit.

Random pic of the day:

Sad face, happy face. I may have faked it, but how can you tell? It might be real. But how real is real and when does it end where reality turns into illusion? Ooooohhhh, so deep you can see Adele rolling.

I Finished Playing Bravely Default! I'm Gonna Play Dark Souls 2 (Day 8 and 9)

Yes, I finished playing the damn game. Level 99, maxed out jobs, unlocked 2 endings (Normal and True Endings). That sense of accomplishment, finishing a JRPG, is just satisfying. Man, it was worth it. Can't wait for the sequel (I think they're going to make one).

Hey, I was thinking yesterday and made up my mind. I'm gonna buy and play Dark Souls 2! I am so gonna get my ass handed by the enemies in that game. I'm gonna be such a noob cuz it'll be my first time playing the game. I have no experience in playing Demon Souls and Dark Souls. So yeah, it'll be frustrating and hilarious seeing me die a lot of times. To make it harder, I'm gonna play as a sorcerer, cuz playing as a Warrior, Knight and Swordsman is too mainstream. But I ain't stupid enough to play as a Deprived.

So, that's it. I'm gonna end this post with a short video (Click HERE ) of me showing all the jobs I've maxed out for all 4 characters in Bravely Default. So, g'nite, sleep tight, don't let the bed bug bite. Goodbye and Peace!

3 Days Lost, 2 Days Feeling Tired, 1 Day to Rest (Days 5,6 and 7)

If you're thinking of something complicated about this post, there won't be. I am so freakin' tired and I just wanna laze around in my bed and read a book and just sleep the whole day. However, I have a job, a life to manage and things to pay so I am forced to get my butt off the bed and work. I've been gone for 3 days from this blog and I am being a bad blogger. I know, I'm not one of those "Oooh, I blog about stuff and show pictures that people will really care about 5 minutes and then forget". Wait... I AM doing that kind of thing. Well, at least I have the balls to own up my mistakes and confess that I sometimes bore people with m mundane life.

On the positive side of life, I am trying to get a bearing of my life now that I have some of the distractions out and done. My brother's wedding went on without a hitch. I met with many families, friends and some old, important people that are probably dad's friends. I had to socialize which for me, is something I am worst at. Only with my cousins and my good ol' friend that came to the wedding reception, I got to loosen up and talk like a normal person. If not, I'd be dumb as a mute next to my parents.

Yeah, talking about Talking, I had a discussion with my cousin and also my friend about doing a Podcast. You know, it's like a talk show but in audio. I've been thinking about doing it seriously and finding something more interesting to do. Something I enjoy, which is a discussion with my pals and an invited guest and we talk about topics the person is an expert and also some off topics and maybe entertainment stuff. It's like what you watch in Jay Leno, David Letterman or Oprah Winfrey, except you just listen to our voices. I'm too ugly to be on TV. So, I'll just hide behind my voice. Maybe if I can garner enough esteem to record the podcast and put it up on YouTube or Vimeo or something, but that's for later. I'm just talking only at this point. No plans have been made yet. This needs some serious preparation and commitment in starting a podcast. I haven't decide which type of podcast I wanna do.

If anyone is interested in helping me start this podcast, you're welcome to do so. We can find sponsor and promotion and legal stuffs. It's not that I'm not satisfied with my job, just that there are things I would like to share with the world my views or telling people about things about current issues, and also promoting people in making it big either in entertainment, academic or any thing that needs promotion. I'm open to ideas here. What's also important are the logistics and equipment. We'll start with the very basic package and start with baby steps and make it to toddler walking up to a child running.

Blogging like this is also one way to express some of my views, but people rarely read this. Yes, I confess that I barely get more than 30 views for one post. Maybe you people don't understand English or my mind is just to complicated for you to understand. I'm using basic English language. There are no jargon or double meanings to what I'm typing now. If there is, I'd explain it anyway. Some people are stupid to not see sarcasm or pop-culture humour.

So, yeah, that's it, I guess. I just wanna tell you readers about my plans to start  podcast and hoping if there are people willing to help, your help would be appreciated.  Anything else, it has been boring for 2 days since yesterday after my brother's wedding. I've done nothing productive at all. If you'd see me on Sunday, you'd wish you'd watch paint go dry. Thank God I'm not doing V.E.D.A (Vlogging Every Day In April).

Thanks if you've read this far. Stay tune for more post from me. Take this post as a 3-1 post since last Saturday until Monday. Hope you enjoy reading this post. It's not much, but at least I have something to say in it. Before I bore you with ways to say goodbye, Farewell readers, and don't forget to follow me on Twitter (@LordRizal). I'm more active there than in other social networking sites. I like interacting with people. It's just that I need to socialize in real life more. Human interaction for me has turn something alien to me. Alright, enough chit chat, see ya tomorrow!

(No Random Pic of the Day. I'm too tired to even find a picture in the Internet. Peace, y'all!)