Don't Fight With Each Other! Unite!

You see, I hate looking at people fighting just because of a stupid thing. It really riles me up too to see the sheer madness of it. What makes it worse is that they make people take sides and bash each other. Idiots. Why can they assess the problem like grown ups? Having their so called PRIDE and EGO to get in the way. This is why we can never unite from our enemies. We fight each other, the enemies just clap and cheer on watching us destroy each other. Is that what we want? Do we want our enemies, crystal-clear enemies of race, religion, and country to see us is this disgusting state of embarrassment? What do we get from crushing each other? Relief? Revenge? What do we really accomplish from it? Is it important to feel that arrogant not being the powerful one, so we try and emasculate others to prove you are stronger than someone? That's bullshit. Forgiving and acknowledging your weakness and wrongs are the best way to do it. We are becoming adults, we have responsibilities that we will shoulder when we get a job, get married, have kids. Why find problems that really is unnecessary and only destroys you slowly inside. We were created in a community to help each other, not create enemies. We are demoralizing ourselves. How are we supposed to go forth to be a well-run country, the best country in Asia, with this attitude? We know hoe to fight physically, yes, but do you know that wars can be done other than physical ways? Psychological wars, Cold wars,Media wars; all of them are wars that we are losing each and every day. Our enemies are winning every battle along the way, belittling us. Do you like seeing our pathetic state right now? Do you like watching religion, race, country, made fun of? Then why do you still feed the lies, swallow them whole, and poison yourselves with lies given by the Western media? They want us to fight each other, making us weak from the inside. Politics that we are using are western politics, AKA Dirty Politics. The Law that is used in our country favors the non-Muslims and degrading Muslims. Apostate cases are on the rise because we can CHOOSE our RELIGION when we turn 18? So, we condone apostasy? Really UNFORGIVABLE. We call ourselves a country run by Muslims? Do we want to turn out like Turkey? Muslim by name, but actions are another? Other races silently trying to down us, spreading lies, making us look like bullies. What the Hell is going in this world? Haters filling this world and we side on the Evil side. What has happened to the good-natured goodwill and fair play with all humans bonding for peace and the greater good? Fight the Demon within, avoid being the victim of the Devil. You want to be best, then make ourself useful to fight against all EVIL. Let me leave you with a stern warning. Do not turn into a person that is loathed by other because of your evil actions. I hate to see my own brother in arms, being a double-crosser, like Judas. Fight for the right side. Islam is my side. Who's side are you on? For this, I bid you goodbye and let's think what can we do to make our world more habitable not just physically , but habitable by living with other humans who are caring and is concerned with our welfare. Devil be Damned! Wasalam...

Out Of My Life, Good. Dissatisfied With Earth, Not Good.

Referring to the matter above, this chick I used to like, and like, she didn't care for me, and I just like, "say what?",and I swallow sadness and roll up like a ball and wallow, yeah, she's gone. So, the good thing is that I couldn't care much of her right now. Which she could just disappear  from the face of the earth and that would totally make my day. I feel that, "Hey, I liked you too long, I waited too long, and now I'm pissed you don't care about my feelings, so fuck off and die, bitch!" right now and cherishing it. Tell you what, I'm getting sick of this game of Feelings and Caring and Care-Bear shit and stuff. I just want to make it thorough and specific that if you really like me, then make it a habit of liking or loving me. Flirtatious banter is really unbecoming of women nowadays.You think that a girl likes you, you get really excited, you want to be with that girl, you feel proud a girl actually likes you. For me, that feeling is long gone right now. I Love You for me is just three ordinary words that lost its meaning from the aspects of feelings and emotion. My heart has been broken for so many times that it  hurts at first, then it becomes numb. You feel guilty and hateful towards the opposing party and yourself, then you feel nothing. You fight for what? You spend your precious time for what? Going down the drain of susceptible destruction in emotional disturbance? In this game, your damned if you do, damned if you don't. A lose-lose situation when not really with the right person. A woman out there, waiting. Maybe she exist, maybe not. You wish to be a human dong what you are told to do to not disturb the course of Life that has been outlaid to you for millions of years, or since Adam and Eve started living on Earth. Do good stuff, leave the bad stuff. Love thy neighbor just like loving yourself. It is necessary to be good and all, but why with the jealousy and hating all  around? Just like what I'm feeling right now. I have this hatred filling up inside of me, random hatred towards everyone, it just hurts and it multiplies, exacerbates to such extent I just want to crush someone to death. Ashamed of being a human, regretting not to be dead right now. The satisfaction of living on this earth has fallen to an alarming rate. If someone gave me a survey on m satisfaction in living on Earth, I'd give it a 2/5. 2 because I feel that I'm still living and that is good enough for me.The quality of human caring for each other has deteriorated too. BADLY. You take crap from other people more than compliments. Hell, even compliments are turned into crappola. You just want to make up everything in making your life better in 2 seconds even though it takes a lifetime to feel satisfied with yourself. Just like a boring class, I just want it to end very quickly. I want to end it painlessly, and with respect. Loving and Leaving is what I'm good at. Back to the main point, she's out, good. My life feels less burdened with bludgeoning problems and make-believe fantasies of being The One (Yeah, the " I Was Born Because Of Greatness and to Be The Greatest Of All").I'm just a regular everyday normal guy. Bitches come and go, but Life will march on, leaving the Dreamers and those who dwell in the past. I'll leave you guys pondering the right and wrong in Life. Remember, If you swear, that means you're hurt, or pissed off. Not kidding. Bye and wasslam...

Jealous, Much?

Like I am saying right now, someone needs to tone done that jealousy inside the person... Hehehe.. I love it when i see jealous girls when I'm talking with another girl.. Those narrowed eyes, glaring like piercing every part of my body... the furrow on the forehead... crunched-up mouth... fists clenched... So CUTE... Well, I won't do it if I get married... THAT would be a BIG MISTAKE... It shows that she loves you, and I know that she loves me indefinitely. I love this woman, this girl even with her high-handedness,is still the best girl I've seen so far. She is the epitome of perfection in my eyes. I should be thankful in giving her the undying affection and care to her. Call me stupid, but the more jealous she is, the more I love her. That's why I like talking to other girls. Better yet, talk "intimately" in front of her. Flirting, but not serious. Maybe that's why I don't get a stable relationship.  It's been a Hell of a ride and it's been fun and despair rolled up in a ball and explodes like vomit and caramel. I want to perfect the art of Jealousy, the art of Flirtation ,the art of Sweet- talking... The art of Domination, hahaha! The Tigers in the bed and all that shit. Feels like degrading the woman, but I just like to play it rough... It's my nature. Some like it slow and steady. Some like it slow and wanting. Some just throw themselves like a pair of thrashing eels or snakes mating. Me, everything is done with strategy. One must take control. let her listen to your every command. Possessing her, make her feel frustrated, wanting, libido rising, tease her to no end, until she is wet with wanton and desire. Touching her at the right spots. Finding her G-Spots. Playing with her. Make her scream, squeal, suck her every bit of soul and tell her what she really want is YOU. JUST.YOU. It doesn't matter if you're not well endowed or just an average person. Skill and strategy is important. At the end, leave her feeling tired, boneless, like a heap of clothes untouched for so long. Wow! That, my friend, is great sex.So sum it up, First, foreplay. Then, actual intercourse. Lastly, finish it with a gentlemanly after-sex talk. Cool, innit? So, um.. a part from being jealous to talking about casual intercourse, I'll leave you alone. Read books. Ok, thanks, goodbye and wassalaam...

The Nightmare

I saw you laughing,

I sat in the corner,

Weeping, crying,

Lost in translation,

Missing in the sea of destruction,

The target under the spotlight,

A lost battle to fight,

There with a face pout,

No fear but full with doubt,

A daylight scare with no air,

You are my nightmare,

I’ve said too much,

But I haven’t said that such,

Your centre of pleasure,

My everlasting torture,

No wish, no seek, no breathing,

No time for bidding,

The list of dreams crushed,

Least more few much touch,

Losing my mind,

Now I can’t find,

Please, scare,

Be my everlasting nightmare…

Oh, The Drama! My Love Life and…. Marriage? Adding Dreams Too…

I get annoyed actually about the drama of reality, it hurts seeing it happening in front of your own damn eyes. Actually, it hurts a hell lot. What I want to say first in general is about the drama of the heartbroken fair maidens who just cannot cope with simple problems of the past or relationship problems. Women, you thinks I have the nerve of steel listening to them telling the problems which actually doesn’t concern me at all, let alone I care about it. I just love to listen  to it, but never ever will I be the one who will be solving it. One, I feel guilty to these women who just broke up. They are attractive little beings and somehow I have that feeling of saving the damsel in distress. However, I am not a rebounder guy. NO NO NO. I, for one am a respectable person, only to fall in love with women who have feelings to me. Not a shoulder to cry on, for reasons that doesn’t concern me and only as a pleasure seeker. They come to me, befriending me. Telling me things, stuff about their problems. They expect me to solve them, like I’m a freaking therapist or something. I do not like to be treated like a hapless guy good for only listening to your problems. Whenever they are happy, they forget me. Like I’m used up, washed up has-been. Like trash on the side-walk. Every time I see them happy with their boyfriends, or some admirers, you just can’t stop thinking, what the Hell just happened? They act flirtatious with you, pour their heart and soul to you. They instil jealousy in your heart, thinking that their boyfriends are just monsters and don’t deserve them. I, don’t want to be caught in this scandal that will certainly blow out of proportion, so I just listen. That is it. Listen. Once, I thought it was heroic to save the damsel for the wicked man, sweeping off her feet, carry her, saving her. In reality, these women are just a bunch of stupid bitches using their boobs to think instead of their brain. If the guy treats you bad, why the Hell should you still be with him? Break up. Not like you’re married or something. He makes you angry, tell him straight up. He cheated, break up. He treats you like a slut, break up, call the police. Please, don’t be afraid to act the right thing. That’s one last piece of advice I’ll give to you. Back to the scenario I gave; I had a girlfriend. A very loyal, trusting, loving girlfriend in the past. Then, came another girl, pouring her heart out, crying her eyes out on me, telling me how she broke up and can’t stand the pain of living, bla bla blibbidy boo. So, I was young, rash and hormonally imbalance, and a becoming scoundrel, I flirted with her, telling her the guy was a fool for letting her go. I courted her. Then, she became my girlfriend, without telling my other girlfriend. So, I got confused, regretting what I did, I stupidly broke up with my trusting, loving, loyal girlfriend and ran off with the other one. She was broken-hearted.  Couldn’t do anything. I truly loved her, she was really dear to me. We could’ve gone far with each other. Several months later, after falling from a higher ground with bone-crunching sound effect, a boulder followed on and crushing me underneath it. Metaphorically. Turns out the girl I’ve been dating, IS a bitch. A whiny one too. She only looks at me for money. I was too blind to see what has happened, lost everything in this so called game of love. My ex found another man, I broke up with her, with anger and over the top shouting match enthusiasm, just to think the prospect of bitch slapping that whore of a slut, I broke up. Then, I moved on with my Life. Other relationships after that are mutual. Things get bored actually. I keep living in fear when being in a relationship. I wanna be in a relationship, but it is the fear of a woman scorned, the heart-breaking, the cheating, the materialistic woman, the perfectionist, the dependant woman, you name it, I’ve seen it all. Never have I dated a PDA woman. The horror of her touching and grabbing you in public is frightening. The “You feed me, I feed you” action, is inexcusable. I can feed myself thank you very much. I’m not a baby you can’t spoon myself or bite properly. So, after that, I became cautious when women come to me and tell their secrets. I tried, but I am a weak man when I see a beautiful woman come to me with the desire to tell her secrets and pour her soul into the problem, thinking I’m the only guy that can save her. That is indeed a lie. I cannot believe again on what they are saying anymore. The latest one, yeah, she doesn’t know yet. I completely detest her for like telling we are friends and how special I was to her. Her actions doesn’t emit the friendliness of her. I misinterpreted her as a flirt than a friendly gesture. And when she said we were friends, I felt insulted. Am I nothing to her? She likes another man that left her for another girl, which by the way, I did it a long time ago in a land far far away. I was so mad for no reason that she is in the same position of the woman I used to love. However, she ignited my anger in reliving that dark past that I don’t want to remember, so I felt hatred growing inside of me. Towards her. I just don’t want to be with her in any way and will not intend to communicate with her anymore. She is nothing to me. It hurts my pride, that I’m nothing to her. I know it sounds selfish, but I’m trying to forget the past, to be a good friend. Somehow, I can’t I gave up on this matter. I couldn’t bear going through what she has gone through, again. No, I will march on, find love like a normal person would do. Scandal free, proper introduction, and love at first sight, or eighth. I just can’t proclaim the love of my life to all the beautiful girls and toy with their emotions when I get bored. I just want to reform, be a normal, respected by woman, making them happy with me, as a friend. The fear of commitment is also not helping me with this situation I’m going through. A future worry for me is marriage. It’s a responsible to anyone who is ready to get married, to make sure the bloodline and lineage flows perfectly. I cannot bear the fact that I imagine myself marrying at a young age. I haven’t enjoyed single life to the fullest. I wanna go around the world by myself, I wanna do my Masters, a PhD, without thinking of a wife and children to feed and give clothes and diapers. I wanna work first, have a house, a transport, car preferably, lots of money for the future, then I can get married. It’s not the 19^th century or 18^th century and anything below that. We don’t marry for money right now. It is just something that needs to be done. Out of love, not arranged. I see myself getting married when I’m above 30. Twenties isn’t a good idea, even 29. It should be filled with a list of things to do before I get married. Like, things I just said above. Clubbing, I think, go bungee jumping, write a book, travelling, honeymooning with myself. Umrah and Haji with family, go to Amsterdam, London, Norwich, Paris, Istanbul, Edinburgh, Cardiff, Dublin, Rome, Madrid, Sevilla, Lisbon, Brussels, Cairo, Memphis, and God is Great, hopefully Palestine, where I can roam free without someone telling me what or what not to do. An adventure of my own before shackling myself with a wife. Flirting with many girls as possible, but I think I learn the hard lesson from there. I haven’t flirted with a foreign girl before. I wish I can do that. If my dad can marry my mom, who is a Filipino, why can’t I? Surely I can do whatever I please. Not that marriage is in my mind that time. Just mutual friendship. To be friends with people all over the world, sharing our secrets and cultures. Oh yeah, I wanna go to Australia, New Zealand, and all the Oceania countries, like Tuvalu, Vanuatu, Timbuktu. Central America and South America.  Aruba, Jamaica, Bermuda, Bahamas, Cuba, Honduras, Belize, Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, Peru, Trinidad and Tobago. Maybe I like going places, maybe I should work in Travel and Living. Beats me from sitting at home and watching it from the television. I wanna see the world, like Ian Wright, except not being gay. I wanna cross the Sahara desert. Ride a camel, buying kinky clothes from Dar Khadija. OK, that was a joke. I feel like I don’t want my feet to be firm on the ground. I want to fly to places, learning is never enough and never will be. Crossing the Silk Road is tempting too.  There are so many things that I want to do. Even if I get married, I only limit myself in going to Asian countries alone. Europe is a bit too expensive for a married couple with children. I wanna be able to tell my children about the adventures I’ve been to foreign countries, and hopefully, bring my wife to places that I like the most. So, that is what I wanna share with you, my dreams, fears, view of marriage and my secret adventurous heart which I have kept for so long. No one knows except those who read this. I thank you if you stick to me until this last part of this blog entry. Wishes do come true, if you work hard enough for it, you will get it. With this, I bid you goodbye, see you next time, and salaam… 

Bad, Bad Poetry...

Maybe today,
Maybe tomorrow,
I won't say,
Words filled with sorrow,

I stand behind you,
Heart full of treason,
A head full of rage,
A life-long lesson,

True heart desire,
Mouth of a liar,
You're always joking.
Too bad you're choking,

You fall in disgrace,
You lie defaced,
I lie in a pool of blood,
Flowing like a flash flood,

We burn in Hell,
We both can't tell,
We heave a sigh,
As we both die,

We perish in fire,
For our hearts desire,
We look to the moon,
Singing an evil tune,

A man broken,
A soul mistaken,
You drown in your own vomit,
With the sins you commit,

Stand toe to toe,
Fall like a domino,
The world is flat,
Too bad it got fat,

Lust rules the mind,
You can't find,
Words cut sharp,
Like a broken string harp,

Your eyes are blind to see,
This bad, bad poetry,
Leave it, let it be,
Please, leave me be...