My Love Poem to You.

I

What can I say?

I can never explain,

I tried to believe,

That there will be an angel,

Come right down to me,

To love me so tenderly,

But she never came,

And I realize,

I don’t need to look up the sky,

You were here all the time,

You shown my heart,

The pure love that can’t be torn apart,

I need the one that I love,

I just need YOU.

II

All that I can breathe,

Is your love,

Flying through the sky,

Like a pair of turtle doves,

Caressing each other,

And every breathe I take,

I’ll never stop saying,

I LOVE YOU,

 My eyes will worship,

Your every move,

These hands will learn,

To love your touch every day,

I can only say,

A promise I will make,

For Love’s sake,

That I will Love you,

All I need is YOU.

III

I will never compare you,

To a summers day,

No words can say,

The uniqueness inside you,

The warmth of your body,

Keeps me sane,

From night till day,

For your every wish,

Is my command,

Just hold my hand,

I’ll make love to you,

Like you want me to,

Just hold me close,

Only cry for those happy tears,

That banishes all your fears,

I will forever be here,

To love you,

And all I need,

All I need,

Is YOU…

Sick Mind (Poem) April 16th 2007

Midnight comes,

Headache hurts,

Brain wants to burst,

Vomiting blood,

Stabbing myself,

Clutching my heart,

Squeezing my blood out,

Sharp knife plunged to the lungs,

See me squirm in pain,

See me carve my face,

A fake smile,

By cutting my mouth,

Hell, I'm high right now,

For a pill I will kill,

Oh, I WILL kill,

Sniffing cocaine gives me no gain,

Only excruciating pain,

For dope leaves me no hope,

My vision is green,

Your face is melting,

Blood gushing to my face,

For speed I will feed,

The sick minds,

I will find,

Hell, will I slash them?
That heroine, my life is ruined,

With that Pill I will kill,

Goodbye Life,

Let me go to the grave,

Let me sleep FOREVER...

-rizalinium-

The Play (Poem) April 14th, 2007

As in today,

There is a play,

A play about our lives,

About wives and the bee-hives,

A play of an idiot,

That walks the stage,

Pretending, merely,

Faking caressing, merely,

That brings tears to the spectators,

The leaders and the dictators,

A play of nothingness,

Brings no benefit,

Only people moving aimlessly,

Like a witless twit,

But it is a play,

A play about our lives,

People wonder,

If life is that meaningless,

Like the wind that wisp only once,

and never again return,

Like the thoughts we gave,

Shall never be used,

This shows from the play,

About our lives lived night and day,

Showing the errors of our ways,

Tells us we only pretend to live,

The generosities we misgive,

Our acts,

Signifies nothing,

This is a fact,

That makes us thinking,

We think until we go crazy,

The answers lost for eternity,

As this play shows us,

It is useless to live,

The ups and downs of life,

Are only artificial,

It gives us false hope,

LIfe only tortures us,

Scrutinizing our lives,

Making nightmares,

Making us fear to live,

Life, that only brings Hell,

Only few who comprehend to tell,

The play still goes on,

People who watches it watched intently,

The idiot that acts shows not fantasy,

But the cruel Reality,

Marred by animosity,

As we live like Hell,

Death makes it worse,

The pain of it only God can tell,

Feels like your brain is going to burst,

Death only leads to a wasted life,

As what we achieved,

Is wasted by death,

The play still goes on,

The spectators watching carefully,

The idiot acting convincingly,

Until his death,

But people did not care,

They continue to live,

Their lives of Hell.

Seek Only What You Need, Leave What Is Not Yours.

I that I wanted to say is that the choices that you are given in front of you, grab them while it is in front of you, but leave what does not have anything to do with you. This is what I seek in making myself pick the right choices in life and leave the things that only clutters my road of Life.

One should be specific in what is to be targeted in your goals, make the right preparations, right deals, right moves, and right execution. Do not tamper on what is already there laid upon you, but improvise, and make them interesting. Life is boring without the colours, the shapes and sizes, the emotions and soul. It is what makes us humans the most interesting beings. Simpletons only perceive emotions as just tools in showing what is projected by the facial expression and the surroundings. However, it runs deeper than that. What triggers such emotions? Why people are drawn to sensitivity or anger, or extreme depression? The traumatic end of what has happened to one of you? Maybe a near death experience? Raped? Someone close died? What triggers greed? Jealousy? Why take more of what is left little for others to live? Why we look down on other people and make them feel inferior to us? Such negativity is what we emit all along and we don't notice it.

We should seek our choice in our lives that can be respected by others. However, conflict emerges when two cultures collide. They seek flaws of one and each other, growing hatred builds inside them, loathing each other even before it started. So, in order to make this problem is to seek what is only compatible with our way of life, and leave what cannot be fused in our lifestyle.

They say greed kills a human by choking them with what they procure in excess. It is actually true. They blind themselves with false happiness, pseudo-power, and immortality. One will die eventually, they just think money can make them live forever. They are all fools. But then, money is not the root of all evil, but the person is the root of all evil, and it is worse when they possess a lot of money. So, take only what is given to you, never expect more, live on what you have worked for, never take bribes and stolen money.

I was angry when I first typed this entry, but then, I feel... nothing. Any emotion that I evoke worsens the situation and the mental state that I'm in. You are not the people who can make the pathway in my life, I choose to make the road. I choose what treacherous path I go. I don't need your highways, back streets, and short cuts.  I follow the safest paths, which is the Path of Light. Where there is Light, Darkness will never come near me. It will annihilate fear, making me confident and safe. If you detest my choice, maybe you are not meant for me. You are only an ornament that is broken, waiting for me to throw away and be recycled to something I can live with and understand.

The end is never easy to face. Are you ready to face the end of one phase to the other phase in making it big in your life? Are you the person that you shaped in the past, improving your present state so that your dreams will come true in the future? Think about it. I'll be going now. See you next time as I go in circles, trying to find the way that will make me better. unfortunately, the way is circular, it goes back to the beginning. The true question is, Where is the beginning? Where does it end? Why is it circular in the first place. I'll leave you to think of this while I 'll try to find some ideas in WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING? Goodbye, dear readers.

To Her Cerebrum, Cerebellum, and The Medula Oblongata

Words, sharp as weapons,

With accurate precision,

Piercing her brain,

Rupturing her mmemory,

Her conscience wanes,

Driving her insane,

A discreet direct attack,

Towards her,

She lack defences,

The Wall of Power,

The Power of terror,

Razing her mind,

Now, she is lost,

In her own mind,

Groping in darkness,

The Light she can never find,

Fighting her own demons,

Facing the Devil of mercilessness,

Banishing her to an eternity of evil sermons,

Killing her slowly,

Burning her brain,

Bringing her disdain,

Twisting her thoughts as they have said,

Felt like she is brain dead,

Like a bullet through her head,

She felt the agonizing pain,

Nothing she can gain,

Her thoughts of life washed away,

She thinks about Death everyday,

She thinks Death is your friend,

Which brings her solace,

Handing her a gun,

The problem solver,

To all difficulties,

She pointed the revolver,

To say goodbye to the world,

She pulled the trigger,

Now she is dead,

Her brain splattered on the wall,

A story showing,

That she is weak,

As I speak,

To her mind,

As I found,The relative excruciating pain,

From her cerebrum, cerebellum,

And her medulla oblongata...

Suicide Poem. The Dark Days when I just wanna take that gun and put it in my mouth pull the trigger and get it one with. Written April 28th 2008. By Raziel Rizalinium, for Raziel Rizalinium.

You Just Don't Know When To Stop Dreaming. When You Do, It Leaves A Hole In Your Heart

Once, I had that single dream, dreaming to be someday a famous person. A person that really, can change the world in whatever I do, whatever ways in making them feel accepted, things that makes people have a purpose in life. I wanted to be that person, but to be like that, I need to feel that weakness, that despair, that feeling of uselessness formed inside those poor souls, eating their self-esteem, confidence and morality. What I found out, is that none of that happened, and I feel like what I did was nothing more than self torture, destroying my core soul in growing up like a normal human being.

The type of famous that I wanted was not to be known by public, but what is cherished by them. What makes them think of me as those who had helped because I did it for the fame, but for what I think is right and worthy to be helped. Yes, being nice, doesn't mean I'm not picky when helping people. That's who I am, I guess.

That dream when people remember you of the good things you did rather than bad things you've done to them is what i want to achieve before I face my Maker. However.......

Keeping dreams is difficult when things that can't be avoided like chance, unfortunate events, choosing between bad, worse, and worst, lose-lose situations are some things we all have to go through in our lives. Yes, we may hurt some people along the way, but it's the way life is. Somehow, saying sorry for a millionth time doesn't make it any better than it was before. It has become something on an empty word, promise apology in making it feel better for the ears to hear, but not the heart to mend.

Next, I've abandoned that dream. I failed in making it become true. I have stained myself with other peoples hatred, loathing, and spite until I cannot control what is inevitable, Enemies. Yeah, jealousy or witnessing other peoples weakness makes those feel superior or threaten them so they can overcome another being in showing them violence because they want to. I was the victim and I know how it felt to be alienated, picked on and pushed around.

What makes it worse then it is, it leaves ahole in your soul, making you dreamless, nothing seems right, you question your own existence. Why does everything not make sense of anything that shouldn't be related to in the first place? A small world that people think they can runaway from someone, just to be caught in the same place they committed the crime? Babbling again, sorry. You see, I've lost faith in what they call a dreams, hopes, goals. Not only they only just plan by saying it, but they are not doing nothing about it.

Dunno why, but I feel empty inside, when all I ever dreamt of never came true, because what I want is impossible. It frustrates me to think like that, like If I don't do any harm to others, no harm will come upon me. For me, that's bullshit. Problems crop up anywhere, you just need to learn how to overcome all of it. Shit, if I get a penny for every dream a kid says before sleep, I'd be rich and can afford to die and buried in Mars.

So, with the File Sharing sites blocked in this country, the nerd rage is heating up and will explode any minute. I'm not supposed to say anything right now, but hey, it's your death wish, mate. Let's say that they are destroying these people's dreams. Hehehe... 

So, that's it. Actually just saying nonsense. Hope you have a clear path in making your dreams come true, because I don't have one. See ya next time, suckas... Have a fucking good holiday and stay off the booze if you're driving, awright... Bye.