Tuesday 31 August 2010

Out Of My Life, Good. Dissatisfied With Earth, Not Good.

Referring to the matter above, this chick I used to like, and like, she didn't care for me, and I just like, "say what?",and I swallow sadness and roll up like a ball and wallow, yeah, she's gone. So, the good thing is that I couldn't care much of her right now. Which she could just disappear  from the face of the earth and that would totally make my day. I feel that, "Hey, I liked you too long, I waited too long, and now I'm pissed you don't care about my feelings, so fuck off and die, bitch!" right now and cherishing it. Tell you what, I'm getting sick of this game of Feelings and Caring and Care-Bear shit and stuff. I just want to make it thorough and specific that if you really like me, then make it a habit of liking or loving me. Flirtatious banter is really unbecoming of women nowadays.You think that a girl likes you, you get really excited, you want to be with that girl, you feel proud a girl actually likes you. For me, that feeling is long gone right now. I Love You for me is just three ordinary words that lost its meaning from the aspects of feelings and emotion. My heart has been broken for so many times that it  hurts at first, then it becomes numb. You feel guilty and hateful towards the opposing party and yourself, then you feel nothing. You fight for what? You spend your precious time for what? Going down the drain of susceptible destruction in emotional disturbance? In this game, your damned if you do, damned if you don't. A lose-lose situation when not really with the right person. A woman out there, waiting. Maybe she exist, maybe not. You wish to be a human dong what you are told to do to not disturb the course of Life that has been outlaid to you for millions of years, or since Adam and Eve started living on Earth. Do good stuff, leave the bad stuff. Love thy neighbor just like loving yourself. It is necessary to be good and all, but why with the jealousy and hating all  around? Just like what I'm feeling right now. I have this hatred filling up inside of me, random hatred towards everyone, it just hurts and it multiplies, exacerbates to such extent I just want to crush someone to death. Ashamed of being a human, regretting not to be dead right now. The satisfaction of living on this earth has fallen to an alarming rate. If someone gave me a survey on m satisfaction in living on Earth, I'd give it a 2/5. 2 because I feel that I'm still living and that is good enough for me.The quality of human caring for each other has deteriorated too. BADLY. You take crap from other people more than compliments. Hell, even compliments are turned into crappola. You just want to make up everything in making your life better in 2 seconds even though it takes a lifetime to feel satisfied with yourself. Just like a boring class, I just want it to end very quickly. I want to end it painlessly, and with respect. Loving and Leaving is what I'm good at. Back to the main point, she's out, good. My life feels less burdened with bludgeoning problems and make-believe fantasies of being The One (Yeah, the " I Was Born Because Of Greatness and to Be The Greatest Of All").I'm just a regular everyday normal guy. Bitches come and go, but Life will march on, leaving the Dreamers and those who dwell in the past. I'll leave you guys pondering the right and wrong in Life. Remember, If you swear, that means you're hurt, or pissed off. Not kidding. Bye and wasslam...