Feeling Content? Hell No!!

Just that now I finished my degree, the road to unveil my future is shrouded with mystery, or someone forgot to switch off the smoke machine... Y'see, Now, the group will separate to two groups, one who will find a job, and one who will further their studies, Masters. Well, I belong to the second group, cuz actually I don't feel like having a serious job in my early twenties. C'mon, who gives a two-bit shit bout a 22-year-old saying stuff and believe em'? I for sure don't believe it. So, I'll be doing my Masters, and with my parents approval, well, the wheels will roll on with haste and fall into pieces, completing the beginning of my first step to making myself useful to the country.

However, I just don't feel that connection with others bout having a job now. I feel like learning is something that is fulfilling and needs to be done continuously. I need that satisfaction of learning new things and things that makes my brain think all the time. If I stop thinking, my brain will project absurdities and think of the impossible. It is highly dangerous for me to do that. I can go crazy and start questioning what is not supposed to be questioned. Much of em are philosophical bullshit, like, "Why am I living?", or "Why am I born a human, not something else?", or "What is the purpose of living?". Yeah, those type of questions. I'm trying to help myself get out of that hell-hole and make it go straight back up above ground, and I'm living dangerously, walking along the edge, one tip to the side and I'll fall like Humpty Dumpty. Or Jack. Whatever.

So, what I need is to exercise. Well, physically and mentally. More to physical but my mental health is so tired and bored, when turned off, It'll burst and break down and sadly, will be far from being treatable with Diazepam or Prozac. I've been force running myself on the treadmill. Need to shed some weight off my body. I'll also be making my brain running with exercise, like watching videos, Sudoku, reading books and novels, watching bad porn movies with awful dialogues where the man didn't even do anything and the chick just gave him head for no reason whatsoever. Yeah, you think I watch em' cuz I'm a perv? Well, I criticize those vids too. At least make it believable.

Moving on, to fill in these small space of time before my mom forces me to find a part time job in having to fill in the big space of time between now and September, I've been playing games. One in my PS3 and he other in my friend's PC. I'm playing LA Noire in PS3 and re-playing Fallout New Vegas in PC. Yeah, LA Noire fuckin' rulezzz y'all!! It's like a movie and the motion capture of the faces is just... WOW!! Totally worth every RM160. Next on my list will be months away, is inFamous 2. I know it's comig this June 7th, but money restrictions and all, can't buy em in a space of 2 weeks, got to eat and drive y'all. Driving means I need gas money, fools!!

Y'know what, maybe it's because of I have that ningling fear of being an adult. Being an adult, means you have tons and tons of responsibilities to do. Pay this, pay that, do complicated work which I don't understand. Mostly hocus pocus, mumbo jumbo to me. So, to avoid being that guy who criticizes anything for no reason and trying to be show off, I'd better shut my mouth and move on. Don't give a fuck, actually. THAT'S why I'll be doing my Masters. So, I can be an adult, but gradually and slowly. Man, just think, being an adult. Taxes, bills, and even if you have sex it feels like an obligation than having fun, paying a hooker feels more like business too. You pay for the pimp and the value added tax. Humph!!

I'd love to stay as a 22 year old, but then when you say that, you get older, and you;ll wish that you were younger and you'll end up being disappointed not doing anything with your life. I don't like being alone, being single for more than 2 years... Well, that's my choice. The only hot action I'll get is with Rosie Palm and Her Five Close Friends who lives on West Side. Mostly people prefer girls on the East but I'm a bit different, get it? I hope you don't, cuz I'm not talking bout girls.

Well, people won't be reading this shitz anyways, so I just feel that I need to cool off, have some finger warm-ups right now. Typing is fun if it's really about nothing, but it contains something. It feels refreshing and enlightened to type this. Maybe it's therapy for weirdo and nerd like me. I can write about anything as long as it is not serious and stuff that makes people troll your blog, well, it's good enough for me.

If you read this, means you do give a damn about me! I feel so happy when you read this useless crap, and the more you read it, the more you feel you've wastes precious time reading my blog. I feel like spewing profanities, cussing left, right, front and back but I'm trying not to be like that. That ain't me, yo. That ain't cool. So, if you want to be friends with me, at least say Hi and leave a comment and I will or will not respond to it. If you put sexy pictures or you are a sexy lady, I'll respond to you as quick as lightning, or like any other cyber predator there is.

I'll be back, and make you feel more uncomfortable to you by talking about Period Cycle. Nah, fuck that, don't believe it. I'll be writing more rants and blatherings to make you feel that actually, there is someone who is more douchebag than you are and I feel like I have a chance to live in this world and not commit suicide. Good, let me be your guiding light by being in your darkness, I consume your insecurities and make your life better than I have right now. I am your saviour in not feeling insecure with your body and any fluid or icky sticky that comes out of you. OK, see you next time in Rizalinium's Crazy LaLa Land. Don't do drugs, I'll fuck up your mind. Read my blog, it's as damaging as it can be. Goodbye, lovely readers.