You Just Don't Know When To Stop Dreaming. When You Do, It Leaves A Hole In Your Heart

Once, I had that single dream, dreaming to be someday a famous person. A person that really, can change the world in whatever I do, whatever ways in making them feel accepted, things that makes people have a purpose in life. I wanted to be that person, but to be like that, I need to feel that weakness, that despair, that feeling of uselessness formed inside those poor souls, eating their self-esteem, confidence and morality. What I found out, is that none of that happened, and I feel like what I did was nothing more than self torture, destroying my core soul in growing up like a normal human being.

The type of famous that I wanted was not to be known by public, but what is cherished by them. What makes them think of me as those who had helped because I did it for the fame, but for what I think is right and worthy to be helped. Yes, being nice, doesn't mean I'm not picky when helping people. That's who I am, I guess.

That dream when people remember you of the good things you did rather than bad things you've done to them is what i want to achieve before I face my Maker. However.......

Keeping dreams is difficult when things that can't be avoided like chance, unfortunate events, choosing between bad, worse, and worst, lose-lose situations are some things we all have to go through in our lives. Yes, we may hurt some people along the way, but it's the way life is. Somehow, saying sorry for a millionth time doesn't make it any better than it was before. It has become something on an empty word, promise apology in making it feel better for the ears to hear, but not the heart to mend.

Next, I've abandoned that dream. I failed in making it become true. I have stained myself with other peoples hatred, loathing, and spite until I cannot control what is inevitable, Enemies. Yeah, jealousy or witnessing other peoples weakness makes those feel superior or threaten them so they can overcome another being in showing them violence because they want to. I was the victim and I know how it felt to be alienated, picked on and pushed around.

What makes it worse then it is, it leaves ahole in your soul, making you dreamless, nothing seems right, you question your own existence. Why does everything not make sense of anything that shouldn't be related to in the first place? A small world that people think they can runaway from someone, just to be caught in the same place they committed the crime? Babbling again, sorry. You see, I've lost faith in what they call a dreams, hopes, goals. Not only they only just plan by saying it, but they are not doing nothing about it.

Dunno why, but I feel empty inside, when all I ever dreamt of never came true, because what I want is impossible. It frustrates me to think like that, like If I don't do any harm to others, no harm will come upon me. For me, that's bullshit. Problems crop up anywhere, you just need to learn how to overcome all of it. Shit, if I get a penny for every dream a kid says before sleep, I'd be rich and can afford to die and buried in Mars.

So, with the File Sharing sites blocked in this country, the nerd rage is heating up and will explode any minute. I'm not supposed to say anything right now, but hey, it's your death wish, mate. Let's say that they are destroying these people's dreams. Hehehe... 

So, that's it. Actually just saying nonsense. Hope you have a clear path in making your dreams come true, because I don't have one. See ya next time, suckas... Have a fucking good holiday and stay off the booze if you're driving, awright... Bye.