Marriage Talk PART 2

It's been a hell of a journey, doing this thing for fun and then it turns to something serious and all that it takes is just a notebook and an internet connection, and an identity. Well, like I said, life is like a roller coaster, it goes up, down, sideways and upside down. You hear a lot of people giving advice, bla bla bla... It gets boring when you grow older, listening to the sermons and people saying things over and over and over and over. The Wheel of Boredom rolls like a Death Circle, consuming the anything interesting and happy and substitute it to something lame. It gets awfully boring when you live alone. People say that for someone to overcome this loneliness is to marry. Yeah, simple, obvious fact.

But what happens when you feel like you are not destined to get married? What happens you become old and still perverted and a womanizer at the age of 59? You have sex with a lot of women but that empty feeling is still there. What good is it to have all the money in the world, all the cars, big boys toys, the ho's you can afford, but you don't have that legitimate loving towards one woman, that grand passion you want to have. I'm not talking about sex, but something more than intimacy. That is what's lacking in me. That feeling of when you're with that someone, you get goosebumps, that feeling of protectiveness, that warmth flowing when you intertwine, in a most intimate hugging. All this time I see girls, all I can see is that she is bang-able or not? Is she bendy and great in "gymnastics"? Then, it made me thinking that it is more than sex, it's that pure love i fail to see with my eyes and heart. I've been living alone for what, 4 days and it sucks. What happens if you feel alone for the rest of your life? Not married, no heirs, parents already moved on.You feel that a reality check is appropriate, to know what the hell is happening. When people think that their career is important, what good is it to your life? You work, and then you will retire, what happens next? You will regret that when you were young, you don't have the time to find a wife, to SHARE your life with. Your other half of your soul, mixed into a pure, innocent love that can overcome all the problems in the world. That is much much more important than sex. You need not only a partner in bed, but a partner in life, a best friend that helps you anytime , anywhere and always sticks with you no matter what. I just realized this just like, moments ago.

Also, to find a future wife/husband, you should be cautious. A happy wedding does not mean a happy wedded life. A wedding is just a show to show the world that ou are legally married. However, what happens next is another story. This is where it gets wrong in movies and fairy tales. The magic or accursed phrase, "And They Live Happily Ever After". We only see in novels, movies that in the end, they get married, but do you know what married couples nowadays will have to go through? Financial problems, pregnant wife, difficulties in married lives, demanding baby chores, both are working. Preparation for the up and coming baby. Difficulties in pregnancy. You think it is easy nowadays. Take that fictional happy ending of wedded life out of your mind and get back to reality. Life has obstacles and it is easier said than done when you say, "I wanna get married!". You have to prepare and not let your genitals to the thinking. My mother said to me,"If you wanna get married, don't think that you can only have sex all day long. Don't just make babies, and when you have one, don't be lazy when you take care of the baby".

That got me thinking. I'm stressing this because nowadays, I hear some girls when they say,"After graduating, I wanna get married". Hmmm, in my opinion, why don't you enjoy single life first? Work, enjoy when you can with your friends. When you are matured, like in the age of 25, you are ripe for marriage. Married life is demanding. For men, it is a demanding mistress, apart from your wife. It is hard for me to say, I'm gonna get married after graduating this year. Huh, you want to give them sand to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner? I have planned, well, a tentative to be exact, if there will be any changes, to at least marry at least at the age of 28,29? The latest is 30. I need to prioritize my life first before helping someone else. For girls, I think they should at least wait a bit, know what is there in store for them before getting leg shackled to a man.

You will regret it if you marry too early, especially at a young age. Don't worry, you will find a great guy, who cares, adores, worships you. No need to rush. There have been cases of infidelity when women marry too young. Feeling dissatisfied with their lives, they find enjoyment with other men. It makes me sad to feel her pain when the husband goes to work everyday, comes back home at night, and then goes to sleep without talking. The routine goes on and on and the wife got boring. To guys, when you get married, don;t just say I Love You, show them that you love them deeply, form your heart, surrender to Love. Spend some time with your future wife, and when you have children, take care of them with the right responsibility and not overdoing it. Making your sex life interesting may save your marriage. That, I'll leave it to you to find out how to do it.

The reason for divorce cases that is on the rise is that couples are not communicating often like they used to. Everything seems to be predictable, boring and even redundant. Do something fun in your life. Learn how to dance, go jogging together, read the same books, go karaoke, for the young and hip and unrepentant couples, go clubbing, under each others supervision, of course. Find that feeling of intimacy and loving that is waning when you have married for a long time. Hey, I'm not married yet, but I can see it in my parents, my brother and my sister, who just got married 2 years ago and a baby to boot. Married life needs to the like a car. You have to go for a service every once in a while to keep the motor running. I don't know what young newly-weds do now, but for old people like my parents, they like to go travelling, to see the world. To relax, go with the easy flow. I like that, but I like travelling the hard way, Backpacking. no need for fancy hotels, just motels would do. However, if I get married, well, you need comfort in bed, when THAT time comes, huh?

OK, moving on, make sure when you promise her to love, to cherish, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, you meanit. Vows should not be taken lightly. It is an oath, that you take care of each other, no matter how tough the problem is, you stick together like glue. You advice each other, what is right or wrong. R.E.S.P.E.C.T is key to a stable marriage. A united understanding is also important and teaching each other any good moral values of married life or life itself is important. Next is the importance of in-laws and how they react to your married life. One should know your in-laws and love them like your own family. Do not treat them as strangers when they come to your house. It is important to have that strong bond with them, especially when you need them in helping with a first born baby, or new wife problems, the taboos in marriage and all other things. However, set the line between being helpful and being nosy with your life.

Next is your health. A healthy marriage does not only mean the relationship, but your health physically. Take care of your health, exercise, be strong and fit, because when you get sick, it gets hard for the other to function without worrying like hell. Always feeling sick will restrain that intimacy because a sick person cannot have a normal intercourse, unless you can't stand it anymore. In finance, only buy what is needed only when you just got married. Newlywed always have financial problems, firstly, to find a house, to pay the bills, thinking of saving money for the firstborn baby. Spend wisely. To indulge, it can wait years to come, when the children has graduated and can support themselves, you can do whatever you want. However, you can spend some money for a family trip or vacation, but don't spend outrageously. And lastly, a happy family is a religious family. Teach them the ways of God, I don't care if you are Islam, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Jew or any other religion, that to have meaning of life and living, religion will light that path.

As a Muslim, teach them to read Iqra', Quran, how to pray, discipline them in praying at the right time, follow the ways of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. This is because with no religious background, a family will be broken, as it has no pillar to support it. In Malaysia, we call someone who just got married as building a mosque. This is because it is a nucleus in teaching yourself, your wife and children about Islam. Teach them the history of Islam, the warriors of Islam, the prophets, all about Islam. Buy books, encourage them to read and know that religion is important, as nowadays, there are many non-believers and anti-religion people on the rise, or atheists. Set rules and disciplines which are not to restrictive, but under watchful eyes of you and your wife.

Well, I think that's it for me, hope you endure this boring but informative entry posts. Hope you consider this thoroughly when you want to get married, and please, PLAN AHEAD before jumping in the freezing water, because you have to have a swimming suit to dive in, but not in your birthday suit. Heh, just jokin'. So, I'll be going now, hope you guys and gals have a good life ahead, live smart, think smart, die smart. Can you die smart? I dunno, hope to try it sometime. Tis' goodbye, until we meet again in the future, dear readers. Goodbye, Ciao, Adios, Au revoir, Selamat Tinggal, and Wassalam...



One Happy Family, Y'all!!:-D